Amy on writing, on writing and kids

Amy’s Bad Advice 6

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New advice, new season, new hair, new uncanny bitmoji. It’s still worth what you paid for it.

When you say Yes! I say No! Yes!…

No. Hells no.

Why I’m saying no to the “Yes” day and why I would advise you to do the same.

The “Yes” day, ever heard of it?  This post might seem more geared for parents with younger kids, but maybe you’re a grandparent or have other family or friends to bestow this bit of controversial advise on.

So, the “Yes” day. What is it? It’s a an idea based on a book aptly named, you guessed it:

YES DAY

And frankly, I’m not sure the “Yes” day de jour that has hit celebrity parents and their Insta accounts by storm has anything to do with this jolly little book but essentially, the purpose is to have one scheduled day a year when you say yes to every request your child makes.

“Can I have ice cream for dinner? ”

“Yes.”

“Can I stay up late and eat more ice cream?”

“Yes.”

Now most parents do put some restrictions on requests prior to the day. These restrictions are usually a price cap on activities and/or a cap on how far one can travel.  Otherwise, everything else is on the table.

You get it right? So what’s so bad about a special day where you cater to every whim of your young child? A Lot in my opinion. Kids don’t know what they want, or what’s best for them, that’s why we make decisions for them and these “Yes” days really seem like an excuse to eat absolute garbage all day long. And if these kids are anything like my kids, they probably end up with a tummy ache from too much sugar. But aside from being an excuse to eat candy and sweets all day, there is something more fundamentally terrible about granting your childs every request one day a year…it’s another way for attention needing parents to grandstand on their social sites and to spoil children that more than likely are too privileged as it is. And the bragging they do after? Man. It would probably be brutal to friends whose families do not have the means to support frivolity.

So if appeasing the next generation of self-indulgent jerks isn’t a strong enough reason to say no to the “Yes”, consider this: Why do you feel that this day is necessary at all?

Being a parent is all about striking balance and raising humans with grace and humility. We want to create good people, I hope. Instead of granting one day to appease your childs every whim why not start now with something simple. Spend time with them. Kids are so simple in their needs. They just want you.  Play board games with them, read, play video games or ride bikes, and make sure that you do say yes sometimes, even when no would be so much easier.

The biggest thing for me as a parent is making sure that I never say no to something simply because it is inconvenient to me. “I don’t want to” is not a good reason to say no to your child. If something interferes with existing rules, boundaries, plans or ability then a no is totally acceptable.  Kids need to know that the world does not rise and set out of their ass. They need to know that their feelings are important but what they want must be earned. And its a lesson you can teach every day. Reward and acknowledge your childs good behavior, little things that perhaps stand out, just to you. My youngest daughter always shares her treats with everyone, without asking, without question. It’s the sweetest thing in the world to me, and I always let her know that I noticed and tell her she’s awesome.

So whats the point of all this? Yes day, No day, the point is that you don’t need to have a “Yes” day to create wonderful memories for your child, you just have to be there for them, don’t let any one elses shenanigans tell you what kind of parent you are. I know what kind I am.

This concludes Amy’s Bad Advice for the first week of October. Boo! See above quote for its value. But lets talk about it, I do love our repartee.

SO is it a yes or a no for you?

Cheers, Amy

27 thoughts on “Amy’s Bad Advice 6”

  1. Yes! Memories are shared when we do things with our kids that make memories. Giving compliments and coaching them properly has memory making potential. Participating in YES day is like going to the grocery store…. “Whip de do dah!”

    We like to play checkers, legos, make crafts and watch cartoon movies together.

    Great post Amy!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Yes or no? Hmm, I’m not sure. More data required:

    1 – What if the kids want to decorate the living room walls with your oil paints on a ‘yes’ day?
    2 – Is your husband ever treated to a ‘yes’ day?
    3 – When is your next proposed ‘yes’ day – We’re all coming to yours for tea.

    Liked by 1 person

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