Amy on writing

The Slow Burn

I had a sawdust bath the other day.

It sounds weird I know, but it was pretty amazing.

For my 10th wedding anniversary my Hubs and I went to this amazing day spa off the Northern California coast. Aside from being a relaxing and lovely full day of pampering and non-kiddy fun, it was this enzyme sawdust bath that got me thinking. A dangerous pastime? I know.

So this enzyme bath is done in a hot tub-sized box in a sauna with finely ground cedar sawdust and minerals. All steeping in its own natural fermentation. For 20 minutes, in our own natural state, I baked, sweltered and steamed in heavy, stinky-sweet wood and relaxed. Relaxed more than I ever do, at any point, in any day.

Every so often our personal attendant would come in the room and cool our sweaty brows with ice-cold wash cloths and give us sips from cool water from metal straws. I didn’t need to move a muscle, can you imagine. it was luxurious, until it wasn’t.

So whats the point? In this bath, I initially thought it was the peak of comfortable perfection. I love the heat. And in a zero gravity position I basked in the warm softness. I could have stayed like that forever…

But then it got hot, really hot, but I endured because I could feel the toxins and stress leaving my body. Its good I told myself.

Then it got hotter, the air thicker. I started wiggling around, releasing my hands and feet for just a little relief. Then my arms my legs, just a bit. Could someone open a window?

When it was almost done with, I could feel every fleck of dust weighted to me, the heat unbearable. I reminded myself that I wanted this, I signed up, I paid. This is my romantic weekend so I took in every minute of it. I closed my eyes and let it take me. The whole experience. And when I climbed out, I felt amazing. Really.

Now, what does this have to do with writing? Nothing really, but I learned something.

When I finished my book, I thought the hard part was over. But running a blog and trying to get published is so much more challenging. I came out of the gate like a wild horse ready to conquer this world but the rejection and the long wait times for even a hint of opinion have been excruciating. Sometimes I think letting go is the answer. But thats not me. In the hardest, darkest most disappointing times I endure, I make it work. Because I remind myself that things aren’t born from nothing. I control my destiny and my experiences. What I will get from this is what I put in. And I’m willing to let it burn.

Why? because at the end of the day I know it will be worth it, that I’ll have accomplished something incredible.

No matter how hard things get, endure, work. And you will get there.

It’s all about the journey.

Cheers, Amy

painting- oil on canvas by me

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